Quinoa? Nope.

I am fortunate to work with a bunch of food-loving folks that enjoy things like mason jar salads and turmeric juice. On Friday, everyone was raving about a new restaurant that just opened around the corner from our office called Mulberry & Vine. (http://www.mulberryandvine.com/) They were especially excited for me because of the many gluten-free offerings. One of my colleagues sang praises of their delicious green chile chicken enchiladas. (I was skeptical, as I am wont to do when Mexican food is involved on the East Coast.) I looked up their menu and saw that everything was nicely marked gluten-free, vegetarian, or vegan. How wonderfully convenient!

After a glorious weekend of perfect spring weather, Monday came around in the form of a dreary and cold morning, which immediately made me crave soup. I walked over to the new spot and was greeted with a giant chalkboard that listed cold and hot foods. There was a small army behind the counter and customers shuffling around where a line should be. Confused and mildly flustered, I stepped forward and asked for the first thing I saw, “Could I please have a small Quinoa Black Bean Chili?” Before I could retract my order, the nice lady was already pouring my bowl. I had a mental lapse. I forgot…

I fucking hate quinoa.

They look like glazed-over fish eyeballs. Or when you look down the drain in your tub and the water droplets look like… fish eyeballs. It is flavorless and the texture is not quite right. The chili was actually great but it wasn’t because of the quinoa. There could’ve been sawdust in it and the excellent mix of spices would’ve covered it up. It was a flavorful, lovely dish. The quinoa didn’t add anything and I got really weirded out whenever I looked in my bowl to see all of those seeds… staring at me.

Quinoa is good for you? Fine. But, there are other whole grains that you could be enjoying instead. Also, it’s a drama grain. Nobody likes drama grains.

So, until further notice, I am declaring this a quinoa-free zone. No más!